"Butterflies Don't Lie"You walk by and my heart beatsA thousand times at once it seemsAnd every time you look at meI have to tell myself to breatheWith just a smile you capture me, and I start to meltEmotions then take over me like I've never feltI could tell me heart each timeIt isn't love, you're just some guyThere's nothing there and what I feelIs in my head, it isn't realBut I can't deny, can't even tryCause I know inside, butterflies don't lieIs there a chance you could be mineIf I let you see insideOr do you love somebody elseShould I keep this to myselfI could risk a broken heart by telling you the truthOr I could keep my secret safe and when I see youI could tell me heart each timeIt isn't love, you're just some guyThere's nothing there and what I feelIs in my head, it isn't realBut I can't deny, can't even tryCause I know inside, butterflies don't lieOnce again there you areAnxiousness, nervous heartButterflies flutteringCan only mean one thingI could tell me heart each timeIt isn't love, you're just some guyThere's nothing there and what I feelIs in my head, it isn't realBut I can't deny, can't even tryCause I know inside, butterflies don't lieLong entry today...I'm just really down at the moment..heartbroken actually...I guess I wasn't meant to fancy anybody...What I thought was going to be the best week of my life, though at times it was fun and there were smiles and laughter, overall, it had to end with a big bang to my face. Call it a rude awakening, 'cause it just slams you with the truth. Anyway, if I'm going to be writing every detail all down, I doubt he's going to read it anyway, so I'll try my best...maybe when I look back, say 5 years from now, maybe I'd laugh about how big of a fool I was at 17. So, this is more of an entry to myself. It's going to sound weird and all, so...
MondaySo, yeah Khai...you had to wake up as usual and haul your butt to school although you're pretty much dreading every second. I know you always grumble and complain the night before that you hate to go to school and deal with assignments that are piling and all, but you seem to embrace a new day with a positive light. But you know that everyday is something new. It wouldn't be like yesterday or tomorrow...So anyway...you had OC, where your research is STILL not done yet...DET (*blank*) where you have to remember to ALWAYS check in to your "super learner" (whatever that is...) and IDS (where you just found out there's a bloody assignment)...
TuesdayYou hate Tuesdays as well...there's CRS, where you had to do an essay (YUCKS!) and not forgetting IDS, which you pretty much don't give a damn about...
WednesdayYour FAVOURITE day of the week! Although it's a drag waking up at 7 in the morning to go to school, which just so had to be freaking far (why can't they just built a bloody poly at jurong area or something so I can just drop out of this utterly pressurising course and pick something less demanding...sheesh!), you basked in the fact that class ends at 1 and you have hiphop afterwards! Whee! Hiphop was okay, and it was fun! You'll have a test at the end of 8 weeks, so work hard to be in the performing team so you can kick the other schools' butts (especially Republic Poly...)
ThursdayThere's DET and Drawing Studio today. You're as usual, lost in DET, but Mr Lau showed some videos, which was quite interesting! You love Drawing Studio although it can get frustrating at times. You have to sketch out using charcoal, and you've really improved, haven't you? Remember the first sketch you did using pencil? It sucked, didn't it? Hahakz...you're DEFINITELY better now...not bad, but not so good either...You even watched a DVD called "The Godfathers of the Medicis" or something like that, and it was really really brilliant!
After school, you went down to JSB to meet Sue! After so long! FINALLY!
FridayCome on, admit it. You LOVE work. What's not to love? Hafiz did closing for you (awww...bless him!) and there weren't many orders, PLUS you're working with people like Faizah and Anisah...the seniors! Whoa...it was really kecoh, wasn't it? And yes, the fella was working, and you got teased and bullied to the max! If you only knew...
He took your nachos...he was so keypo when you were talking to wengho about the 5G sauce...alot of things happened that night, but while you're typing this, you probably don't want to remember them all in so much detail. It'll only hurt, won't it?
SaturdayYou were heartbroken, weren't you? He's attached, and it's time to move on. Maybe you've come to realise you've had enough right now. You're thinking you suck at liking somebody because "everytime I find someone that I like, we always end up just being friends"...You're already preparing to avoid him at the most when he arrived, you needed some time to yourself, to get used to the idea that to him, you're probably just some girl working there. Let's face it: he couldn't even remember your name, and how did you manage to let it just slide by and give in when he wanted to ask a favour from you? Was he that difficult to resist? Maybe you're just too tired to even care. You didn't even blink when he was making that pitiful face. You continued with your task at hand, pretending he didn't affect you one way or another. You were a good actress, you know. Flatly, you just asked him to get the dough for you, not even smiling when he thanked you like you've done something HUGE.
You keep trying, khai, even when you know you can't win. Are you that determined? Or are you just too weak? He asked you for nachos again, and you told him where it was even though you couldn't even look at him to say it. He poked your side but by some miracle, you were immune to his touch. Again, how did you do that? You weren't your bubbly self when you talked to him, and you know that. He was the noisy one while you were mumbling replies to his questions.
You said you don't care anymore.
Are you sure?
Signed off at 12:33 AM
